Bitchcraft: Simple Spells for Everyday Annoyances and Sweet Revenge
Excerpt
IT person who ruined your presentation.
Every time you call with a computer problem, their only response is to turn your machine off and on again. (OK, it usually works, but still.) They are not known for being super helpful. But this was your chance to shine: a big presentation with fancy animated PowerPoint slides and everything. All they had to do was make sure the technical stuff worked properly. Whether it was a bungled projector, faulty speaker, or connection snafu, their incompetence put a serious damper on your moment in the spotlight.
You'll need:
A small technical item (mouse, cable, thumb drive)
A piece of dark cloth
Wrap the technical item in the cloth and put it in a drawer where it can stay for at least twenty-four hours (ideally far from your own desk). Then say this spell:
I was supposed to shine brightly,
But you made me red-faced.
Tonight you'll go home
To find Netlfix erased.
Work-party embarrassment
We're all grown-ups here, yes? That means we should be able to behave with some level of decorum at a work shindig, no matter how much free booze is flowing. But there's always one partygoer who goes a little too far: making inappropriate jokes, spilling their drinks, complaining loudly about coworkers, and generally behaving badly. This time, that person was all over you - sloshing a drink on your outfit and ruining your good time. Better get them into a cab and out of your evening. As you send them on their way, whisper this hex:
Tomorrow morning, may you be out of both coffee and ibuprofen, and may you spill your hangover cure all over your keyboard.
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